Never Kill A Boy On the First Date
by AerisSerris
Summary: Birthday fic for Female Darkish Cody! :D Ezekiel and Izzy are going on their first date, simple right? What could possibly go wrong? Contains Ezzy, NoCo, Bridgeney, Heathold, Gwent, Lindsyler, and Geoff/?


**Well, le first of all, I would like to say…**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARA! :D *blows the party thingy that I forgot the name for once again***

**Anyways, since it is el birthday de Sara today, I decided to get off my lazy, lazy ass and make this little piece for you girl! :)**

**Main Pairing: Izzy/Ezekiel  
>Side Pairings: NoahCody (obviously, this is Sara we're talking about), Lindsay/Tyler, Heather/Harold, Gwen/Trent, Bridgette/Courtney, (one-sided) Izzy/Duncan, Geoff/?**

**I WAS going to do a NoCo for her, but I couldn't think of a good plot for them, plus I know she likes Ezzy as well. That, and NoCo made for an excellent side couple… forgive me. D:**

**Warnings: This was a gift for Female Darkish Cody, and was written by me. So, expect Yaoi, Yuri, dirty jokes, all of that fun stuff. :P  
>Disclaimer: Alas, I do not own Total Drama Island, or Total Drama Action, or Total Drama World Tour, or Total Drama: Revenge of the Island. In fact, I don't own anything nearly that cool. Woe is me. D:<strong>

**.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.**

This was it.

Today was the day that he, Ezekiel Pine (actually, his real last name was Fitzherbert… but he was already unpopular enough and decided to pretend it was Pine; he didn't need Heather holding that piece of delicious humiliation against him) was going to ask out the certifiably insane Isabella "Izzy" Reyun out on a date.

Why Izzy, one might ask? Besides that Ezekiel always thought that the bright redhead was cute, he thought there was more to her than just certifiable insanity.

"I don't know if I can do this, eh?" Ezekiel said nervously to Noah, who was reading a book while leaning against his boyfriend Cody (Ezekiel was the only person in the whole of Playa Des Losers to be shocked when they admitted they had feelings for each other; Heather had said "she could practically smell it coming, they're so gay for each other"), and Harold, who was running a comb, once again, through his untidy auburn hair.

"Just go for it, gosh!" Harold said, encouraging in his own Haroldish sort of way. "I did when I wanted to get together with Heather, and look what happened? I'm totally her fair knight now, and she's my totally gorgeous damsel!"

"Don't forget that she practically beat you ass and your balls into the ground the first seven times you asked." Noah said sarcastically, licking one of his fingers and turning to the next page in his favorite book (_Broadway Musicals of the 1940's_).

"But we still ended up getting together, didn't we? GOSH, Noah!" Harold scoffed, straightening his tie.

"Harold, can I ask why you're dressing up like a hipster today?" Noah said, taking one lazy glance and raised brow at the dweeb, then turning back to his book, all the while rudely ignoring Harold's previous statement.

"Because Heather likes this look! She finds it attractive! Gosh!" Harold said, leaving Ezekiel to wonder whether Harold really meant "GOSH" as a point of anger anymore or if he just used it. People did change after time, and spending eight seasons, currently on the ninth one (Total Drama Power Rangers; Chris had been feeling nostalgic when naming this season), they were bound to change sooner or later.

Like Duncan, for example. When he had been dumped by Gwen in season five (the charms of Trent had been irresistible in comparison to Duncan's more rugged personality), he decided that it was his nature that drove her away and made him start cleaning up his act. He no longer wore his hair in a black-and-green Mohawk anymore – instead, it was shaggy and was his original hair color of a whitish blond color. He still wore his black clothing, but in more of a careless way rather than delinquent, and (at Gwen's request) started treating Harold better. Everyone was shocked, Harold and LeShawna especially. Lately, though, he had been slipping back into his normal attitude – Izzy had even announced to everyone that "someone had been smuggling green and black hair dye into the Playa".

"Funny, I recall Heather once saying that hipsters were 'unattractive pimp wannabes' and 'total losers'." Noah commented.

"Heather was just kidding. Heather has a sense of humor like that, just you watch, Noah!" Harold scoffed, walking away from the group of the four boys, now three, to Heather. The Asian queen bee was walking out of her bedroom at the Playa Des Losers in her burgundy swimsuit, a _Star Stalker _magazine under one arm and a towel under the other. Heather, since she began dating Harold, was not as much of a bitch as she was in season one, but she wasn't exactly a saint either. She had merely cleaned up her act enough for her to be on speaking terms with LeShawna and Gwen, that in itself being a small miracle.

"Oh, I'm watching, Harold." Noah said, setting down the book temporarily to look up the scene that was interesting to even the cynical bookworm. Cody sighed from his seat beside him, but said nothing. The two had been in a small argument recently about Noah's cynicism, Ezekiel recalled.

Ezekiel couldn't hear what Heather or Harold was saying from this distance, but even the ignorant homeschooled hick could tell it wasn't going well for Harold. Then he did manage to hear something –

"Harold! The 'hipster' look is NOT attractive, what WERE you THINKING?"

Everyone stared for a moment before returning back to whatever it was they were doing before.

"He can't say that I tell him." Noah commented before returning to his book.

"Seriously guys, what should I do, eh? I mean, Izzy isn't like other girls…" Ezekiel swallowed nervously at the thought of the redhead girl, who was in her green bikini and swimming with Eva right now. She looked especially pretty with her red hair down, since she lost her green bathing cap. (Ezekiel suspected Duncan.)

It wasn't hard to say that Izzy looked like a fair maiden right now. A crazy, modern day fair maiden, but a fair maiden none the less.

"Ezekiel, can I ask you a question?" Noah sighed, putting down his book and facing the homeschooled boy.

"Uh, sure Noah. Of course…?" Ezekiel tilted his head to the side in confusion.

"Do you have balls?" Noah asked.

"What?" Ezekiel sputtered. Cody stared in confusion.

"Did you seriously just ask that, dude?" The brunet said, a grin on his face nonetheless.

"It's a simple question, Zeke. Do you have balls, or don't you?" Noah asked again, ignoring Cody's question.

"I-I – of course!" Ezekiel said indignantly.

"Well then, pull up your big girl panties and deal with it buddy." Noah said, returning to his novel. The way Noah saw it, either Ezekiel would leave him alone and finally ask Izzy out, or he would get angry and Noah could humiliate him with his rapier wit. Either way, he won!

It appeared he would get the first, not as fun option. "You're right, eh! I can't wait until Izzy gets taken by some other guy! Then I'll lose her forever, eh!" Ezekiel smashed his fist into his other hand. "I have to prove that I have – what's the term, eh? Balls? – and ask out Izzy!"

"Greeeeeaaaat." Noah said. "If I were you, I'd get on it – it looks like Duncan has the same thing in mind."

"What?" Ezekiel's grin disappeared as he turned around and saw the licentious bad boy of the same name heading towards Izzy, who was wrapping a bright, jewel green towel around herself. "Wha - no!"

Sitting up, and moving quite like a panther chased by the hunter, he darted around Tyler and Lindsay, the blonde sitting on the jock's lap, and made his way to the side of the pool where Izzy was sitting by Gwen, Bridgette, and Courtney.

"And so, I like, TOTALLY ate THREE HUNDRED GUMMY BEARS!" Izzy grinned, to the irritation of Courtney and the amusement of Gwen and Bridgette. In season five, when Gwen left Duncan for Trent, she and Courtney finally made amends and chose to be friends again. They weren't really on good terms with each other until season seven, when Bridgette realized she had feelings for Courtney, and likewise. Geoff had been understandably upset, but that had been two seasons ago – he would get over it eventually. At least, his friends hoped…

Ezekiel panted as he joined Izzy, Gwen, Courtney, and Bridgette. "Oh, heya Zeke! What's up?" Izzy smiled, grinning that mischievous grin that Ezekiel had grown oh so fond of.

For a moment, his throat went dry at the thought of asking the redhead out. His skin felt clammy – the temperature went both up and down at the same time, he was hot and cold.

Duncan had stopped in his tracks, watching Ezekiel with a glare, while Izzy remained oblivious to it all.

_If you like her, go for it!_

If he didn't, Duncan would get her first.

He took a breath.

"Izzy, would you like to go on a date with me, eh?" Ezekiel asked, closing his eyes as he waited for the sure rejection that he was about to receive –

"Sure!" Izzy smiled. "Sounds like fun, Zeke!" She said, taking the bright, jewel green towel that was wrapped around her waist and wiping her hair with it. "When do ya want to?"

For a moment, Ezekiel could hear the chorus of the angels singing "Hallelujah" behind him. "A-anytime! I'm up for anything you want to do, Izzy! Chilling, chillaxing, homie-tizing… A-anything!"

Courtney and Gwen exchanged an amused glance, while Bridgette watched intently at the scene. Even Heather had stopped arguing with Harold for his choice of 'hipster' style to watch.

"Okay, cool!" Izzy grinned, walking towards her room (presumably to redress in her normal outfit). "See ya later, Zeke! I'll come fetch you!"

Ezekiel gave a goofy grin, and then fell backwards on a pool chair, his eyes partially closed in happiness. A shadow loomed over him, and he opened his eyes all the way to see Duncan glaring down at him.

"You," the delinquent pointed a finger at Ezekiel's nose, "are SO dead, home school."

Ezekiel gulped as Duncan walked away, a glare on the delinquent's face the entire time.

_Man, someone help me…_

He turned around, everyone staring at him, even Eva. Only Lindsay was untroubled by the situation.

"Yay! Edgar and Iggy are getting together!" She clapped her hands as she sat up on Tyler's lap. Everyone slowly turned around back to their previous activities.

"Wait… who's Edgar again?" Tyler grinned as Lindsay shrugged and went back to snuggling with him.

"I swear you're the best girlfriend ever, Lindsay."

"Aw! Thank you, Tyler!" Lindsay gushed.

**.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.**

Izzy, meanwhile, was sitting in the dining hall beside Eva, Noah, and Sierra. When Cody had rejected her in favor of Noah, Sierra finally chose to give up on her crush on Cody (almost as shocking as Heather admitting her feelings for Harold). She was a totally different person when she didn't have a crush on anyone, Izzy mused. Or maybe she did, who knows?

Eva, being the great friend that she was (and ex-girlfriend), listened half-heartedly to Izzy's ramblings as she chewed on a steak while the redhead babbled on and on and on about somebody selling splinters to everyone because they "increased you vitality" or something like that. A splinter smuggler – one that could never be trusted, period. Tsk.

Noah looked up from his book as Duncan walked over, his hair dyed black once more (yet still down and shaggy). "Can we help you, Duncan?" He asked sarcastically, taking a bite of his spaghetti with meatballs.

"I'm not here to talk to you – " The delinquent stopped as Izzy and Eva both looked up at him, eyebrows raised. "I mean, I was here to talk to Izzy."

"You sure you don't want to rephrase that, Duncan? This is my friend you're talking to." Eva growled, standing up in anger.

Duncan rose up his hands in surrender. "Well Iz, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to go out with a real guy like me instead of Zeke."

Noah and Eva took a glance at each other while Sierra stared at him. "Woah. Did he JUST say that?" The fangirl asked, her jaw dropped.

"No kidding." Eva muttered, not taking her eyes off the situation.

"Why does the dramatic stuff always happen to _my _group?" Noah asked, the bookworm looking up from his meal and his literature.

Izzy, for once, scowled. "Define a 'real man', Duncan."

Duncan paused. "Um…"

"That's what we thought! Now get out of here before I rip off your legs, shove them up your ass and call you a 'Dunksicle!'" Eva growled, punching her fist. Izzy didn't look like she was going to try and stop her friend anytime soon.

Duncan didn't need telling twice.

Ezekiel, who was eating his own meal a few tables away, felt his heart flutter from the scene. Izzy caught his eye and grinned, causing the home school to grin too.

**.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.**

Ezekiel had gone to his bedroom at six o'clock, waiting for Izzy to show up.

It was eight o'clock now, and still nothing. And then…

"ZEKE!" Ezekiel jumped, his little Bible flying out of his hands, as Izzy popped her head into his room through the air vent in his ceiling. "You ready to go?"

"Izzy!" Ezekiel sputtered. "How – how did you get up there, eh?" He asked, placing a hand on his pounding heart.

"With the help of my Jew gold!" Izzy grinned. **(1) **

"…Your 'Jew gold…?'" Ezekiel tilted his head to the side in question.

Izzy ignored his statement and dropped down into his bedroom, landing on his bed and criss-crossing her legs, a grin on her face. "So, I know where we're going to go!"

Noah had made a joke to Ezekiel that Izzy would want to go 'leech diving' as her ideal date when Ezekiel revealed his crush on Izzy to her. It was a funny thing at the time, but now…

"We aren't… we aren't going to go leech diving, eh?" Ezekiel gulped nervously.

Izzy rolled her eyes. "Please! Too boring, there isn't enough BITE and excitement with leeches! No, I found out there's a carnival in town! You wanna go there for our date?"

Ezekiel let out a relieved breath, his thoughts cluttered – the first being how leeches couldn't possibly be exciting enough for Izzy.

"Yeah, sure! That sounds fun, eh." Ezekiel smiled. He stood up, brushed some non-visible dust from his good jacket, and extended his arm to Izzy. "Shall we?"

Izzy seemed pleasantly confused at Ezekiel's extended hand before accepting it. "Why yes, we shall!"

She wasn't going to admit it at the time, but none of her exes had ever been as polite to offer them their hand on the first date. Not even Owen.

**.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.**

It was Ezekiel's first taste of cotton candy that night.

_Not bad, _he decided, taking another bite of the fluffy blue treat. Izzy had taken a large bag full of the sugary substance instead of one with a cone, and was munching out of it.

"Ooh, there are the bumper cars!" Izzy suddenly said cheerfully, instantly swallowing her mouthful of cotton candy and grabbing Zeke's arm, dropping the bag on the ground. "Can we go on? Can we, can we, can we, _pleeeeaaaasssseeeeee_?"

As Ezekiel picked up the bag again, he glanced at Izzy – was she technically his girlfriend now? – nervously. "Uh, well… I've never ridden one before; I don't know how you drive one, eh…"

Izzy glanced at him sympathetically. "Awwwww! Don't worry, you don't have to drive, I can do that!"

Ezekiel wasn't sure what scared him more – humiliating himself with his lack of knowledge in front of all of these people, these strangers, or letting Izzy drive.

He decided Izzy.

"Um, don't worry; I'm a quick learner, eh." Ezekiel muttered quickly.

**.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.**

_Jesus Christ, eh! What was I thinking?_

He sat, hunched down, in the tiny bumper car with Izzy in the seat behind him, the redhead still disappointed that she wasn't able to drive.

"Relax, Zekey! All you have to do is turn the wheel to steer and use the pedals to go backwards!" Izzy said to him, giving his shoulders a brief rub before stopping.

Unfortunately, over the crowd of people in there, he simply couldn't hear what she said.

"What?" He asked again.

"I SAID ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TURN THE WHEEL TO STEER AND USE THE PEDALS TO GO BACKWARDS!" Izzy practically screamed in his ear.

Almost as soon as the last word left his mouth, another car bumped into him from behind. "What the – "

Izzy and Ezekiel turned around to see some snot-nosed brat that had to have been thirteen, giving an ugly grin and laughing, pointing one of his sausage fingers at them.

Ezekiel scowled. "You think that's funny, eh – " His 'eh' was cut off as the little brat bumped into his car again. Izzy grinned at the glare on Ezekiel's face. "That's it! Prepare to face the Zeke!"

The grin was wiped off the thirteen year old's face as Ezekiel spun the bumper car around as fast as he could and drove straight into the front of the kid's car, then slamming on a pedal, backing up, and hit him again. He repeated that process until the thirteen year old butt was against the side of the small safety wall, an ugly look on his equally ugly face.

Izzy raised her hands up in the air in happiness. "YEAH! THAT'S MY ZEKEY!"

Due to being too enthusiastic at the bumper cars, Ezekiel and Izzy weren't allowed back on for the rest of their night. But to Ezekiel, wiping the grin off that kid's face was _sooo_ worth it.

**.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.**

Next up, Ezekiel decided to calm himself (and Izzy) down by going on a funhouse. Simple and entertaining, and it was good for deciding what next ride they should go on.

Or at least it would be, if they could go on.

"Izzy, we can just leave the bag on the ground out by the nice man, can't we?" Ezekiel muttered to her. The man there wouldn't allow Izzy to take her bag of cotton candy with her, for several reasons. One, that it just wasn't allowed, and two, that she was clearly hyper enough and didn't need the extra sugar.

"No, we cannot!" Izzy stamped her foot on the ground. "I want to take my cotton candy, Zekey!"

The people standing in line behind them glared at the redhead in exasperation – this had been going on for about seven minutes now.

"I'm sorry miss, but we just can't allow you to take food or drink on any of the rides." The old man said (Ezekiel could tell he was ready for retirement the moment he began speaking with Izzy).

One guy standing behind them had had enough. "Lady! Either leave the God damn candy or get out of here!"

Izzy spun around and got in their face. "Shah! I'm talking!" She turned back around slowly, and then went back into her heated discussion with the old man.

It was one of the most interesting ways they'd been kicked off something that night, that's for sure.

**.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.**

Finally growing bored of riding The Scrambler seventy gazillion times in a row (Ezekiel felt like he was going to throw up, it had been too much…), Izzy decided she wanted to win some prize in a game now. As the two were walking through the games section, Izzy found what she wanted.

"That! That one RIGHT there!" She bounced up and down, one arm on Ezekiel's and the other pointing at a gigantic stuffed black jaguar. The game was to use a miniature crossbow, one that couldn't actually hurt anyone (or so it said; the clerk was still standing far away from the crossbow's range), and knock over a large jar.

"Okay, eh." Ezekiel pulled out the two dollars she needed to play the game. Izzy gave the homeschooled boy a kiss on the cheek in thanks as she leaped up to play the game.

Ezekiel, being a master hunter himself (and he wasn't one to brag, but he was pretty darn good), could see where Izzy was going wrong seconds before Izzy let go of the arrow. The arrow bounced harmlessly against the jar, tilting it a little but not actually moving it even an inch.

"What? Son of a limp – "

As Izzy swore (some of it in Scottish), Ezekiel looked through his wallet. He only had another two dollars he could spare (the rest was for the bus back to the Playa Des Losers) for another game. And he really did want Izzy to have something to remember their date by…

"Here, I want to try now." Ezekiel said, handing the two dollars to the man before grabbing the crossbow. Izzy smiled to herself.

Ezekiel squinted his eyes, easily setting back into his deer hunting instincts. It didn't matter if you penetrated it, his father once said, but it did matter how hard you hit it. Ezekiel pulled the string back as far as he could before his sharp eyes detected something at the bottom of the jar that he hadn't noticed before.

_Glue…_

Feeling slightly angry now, Ezekiel released the arrow as hard as he could, the arrow shattering the jar into several pieces, a large chunk of the bottom still stuck to the table. The proprietor was shocked as Ezekiel turned to him, a look of triumph on the homeschooled boy's face.

"I'll take the jumbo-sized stuff jaguar, please."

The proprietor, albeit grudgingly, took the large jaguar down and handed it to Ezekiel, who thus handed it to Izzy. The redhead gave a small squeal of happiness as she wrapped her arms around Ezekiel and gave him a kiss.

"Yaaay! Thank you, Zeke!" Izzy said, hugging the stuffed jaguar. "I think I'll name you Glenn Fabio! Then you can be a gay manwhore like Noah!"

Ezekiel burst out laughing as the two walked down the path to the bus station, both happy with the evening.

**.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.**

Izzy stood in front of her room, holding Glenn Fabio the jaguar as Ezekiel, being the gentleman he was, escorted her to her room.

"I had an awesome time Zeke! I can't wait for tomorrow! We can get Glenn Fabio his gay boyfriend!" Izzy winked as she gave Ezekiel another hug.

"Tomorrow?" Ezekiel gave a large, goofy grin.

"Yeah, tomorrow!" Izzy smiled.

"Does that mean, eh, that we are… dating?"

Izzy stopped to think. "Of course!"

"So what you're saying… right now… is we are… dating, eh?"

Izzy nodded. "Yeah!"

"Does that mean we can make out, eh?" Ezekiel grinned.

Izzy smirked. "Sure!"

"Cool…" Ezekiel muttered as he leaned in towards his girlfriend, Izzy doing the same.

**.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.**

Ezekiel was sitting by himself, thinking, once again, about the wonderful night he had last night with Izzy, and the one he would be looking forward to tonight. He murmured a cheerful little song as he read his Bible once more.

A shadow loomed over him, one with a Mohawk…

"Hello, Duncan." Ezekiel decided to be polite with the delinquent, hoping he wouldn't get hurt too much if he were nicer.

Duncan didn't respond right away, instead taking a seat across the homeschooled boy. Finally he said, "You and Izzy had a good time last night? …She enjoyed herself, right?"

"She and I both had a lot of fun, eh." Ezekiel said politely. For a moment he considered using Noah's added joke of 'in bed', but he decided that he didn't want to go through life with the nickname 'Omelet Face'.

Duncan sighed. "Whatever. As long as she's happy, then I'm cool."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Besides, maybe now's a good time to get back together with Princess…" Duncan mused.

Noah and Cody joined the two as Bridgette and Courtney walked by, the C.I.T. and the surfer holding hands. "I wouldn't get your hopes up Duncan. After all, you turned Courtney into a lesbian." Noah commented.

Duncan grinned at the comment as Courtney pressed a kiss to Bridgette's cheek. "True. I'm just not lucky with the ladies, am I?"

"I guess not, man." Cody smirked.

Duncan laughed. "Maybe I should try getting together with Geoff or something and just see what happens – "

Before Duncan could finish, the boys could hear Sierra give a high-pitched, happy squeal. "You like me too? Oh Geoffy-kins!" The stalker pressed a cheek to Geoff's cheek as she sat in his arms.

Noah laughed. "You didn't even have to ask him. Looks like you're not lucky with the guys either, Duncan."

**.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.**

**(1): No offense intended to any Jewish people reading, it was a joke from an episode of South Park. If Izzy were Jewish (and I decided she was), I could imagine her saying something about her 'Jew gold', heh.**

**Mwahahaha! Geoff/Sierra is a quiet favorite of mine, I couldn't resist. X)**

**Hope you liked your birthday present, Sara! :3**

**~AerisSerris**


End file.
